Training, Training, Training

I haven't posted on my Triathlon training yet so I figured tonight would be a perfect start. It could have to do with the recent purchase of a book on the subject. The more I read and prepare, the more I realize that this is going to be tough. I always knew this would be hard to an extent but now I'm beginning to see that I'm going to discover a new person in me.

I tried taking my dog, Charley, on a run last week. That really didn't go over so well. I actually had to tie him to a post half way through and keep running. (At this point I was running a track where I could still see him) He didn't even care that I tied him up, in fact I think he was quite grateful. He loves to run when we are heading to the dog park but as soon as that harness goes on and I try to hit the pavement it become a drag instead of a run. I've decided he will no longer accompany me on my runs. It makes me a bit sad though because I love spending time with him. I feel bad that I'm at work all the time.

Any-who, back to the training. I hate running. I mean I really hate running. My knee has always been a problem but since surgery 1 1/2 years ago and the injury last March I can barely make it through a run. Ibuprofen has become my best friend. It is one of the most frustrating things. Right now I just try to work through it but I sometimes wonder if I will be relegated to having a bum knee the rest of my life. I'm only 25 and I wold love to be more active. If I can find a way to make the pain go away I will be one happy camper. Sometimes I think about visiting a new orthopedic doctor but I'm not sure what more can be done now. I guess I just keep running and dreading it. Tell me, does it ever become enjoyable???

Now cycling is the highlight of my workouts!! I've always loved getting on my bike and riding places. I haven't been able to get a road bike yet and since my mountain bike is halfway across the state, I complete all my biking in a gym. How boring. But it's ok because I feel like I'm succeeding when I ride. It's so easy compared to running. I can thank my dad for giving me one good asset, my legs. I swear they are pure muscle. Sometimes I think I should be training for road races and not a triathlon. But I do like a good challenge!

There really isn't much to post on my swimming adventures. The pool at our complex is now a mucky grey and I'm actually terrified every time I get in it. When I'm swimming I can't see more than 12 inches in front of my face, and that creeps me out. So until I can find an alternate location to swim I have decided to forgo the water. I'm pretty sure I would catch some type of rare disease from that stuff. I've looked up memberships to the Y and LA Fitness but I don't feel like spending an extra $40 a month to swim a couple times a week. I just feel like I wouldn't get my money's worth.

I'm looking at the different triathlon races for next year. It looks like I'll do either a sprint or beginner race at first. I'm thinking I might want to do 2 or 3 races next year. If I'm doing the training I should reap the rewards. Katie and I will probably to the Tri Turtle Tri and I might do the Chelan Man so my family can watch me compete. I still have a few months to decided before I need to submit my entrance forms. It will depend on how far I am with training on what races I feel comfortable entering.

I'm so excited to be on this adventure!!! I can't wait till I cross that finish line for the first time!

Scary Movies Are Not My Friends

My roommate decided we should watch a scary movie last night. Actually I think he just wanted to see how scared I would get. I am such a jumpy person in the first place. Even if I know something is about to pop out in a movie, I still jump a mile high.

So last night we sat down to watch Scream. I was pretty much scared from the get-go. My heart was racing and I thought for sure I was going to have a heart attack. At one point the killer jumped out and I screamed at the top of my lungs. The funny part was I didn't even realize I was screaming until my roommate started yelling at me. I was simply terrified. After the movie was finished and I thought I was going to regain some of my sanity back, my roommate opened his bedroom door. I jumped across the hallway and he just started laughing at me. I'm pretty positive that I won't ever be the same. I don't like scary movies and I definitely don't like the way they make me feel.

I tried to have pleasant dreams last night but they were filled with suspense. No one tired to kill me or anything like that but they were some intense dreams. Now all I need to do is figure out how to get my lovely dreams back and forget all the scary things I saw!!!

Doubt and Community

So I obviously suck at blogging. I haven't even updated this thing at all. Not that anyone is reading this yet either but oh well. Today has been a blah day. It was just one of those, wake up in the morning and try to make it through with a smile on your face. My heart is heavy right now. I can't even pinpoint what it is heavy with but it's just been that way all day.
This song by DCB or as I like to call them, the clam soup band has been my song of the day.

ALL I CAN SAY:

It is such a beautiful song and sometimes when you can't form the words this fits perfectly.
I love being in the Seattle area. I'm so excited for the things God is going to do. I can't wait to see how this journey unfolds. But part of me hates the growing and stretching right now. I feel alone some days. I feel like I'm not sure why I moved here and how the heck I'm going to accomplish anything that God wants from me.

I think part of my heavy heart is a seed of doubt. I doubt my abilities and I doubt if God could really use me or that He even wants to use me. Doubt is such a crazy thing and I'm now realizing it is super easy for it to take over. I doubt my worth and I don't even know why. I don't know what causes me to shrink away and feel less than others. I have those moments when I know that God is going to use me for greater things and I have confidence in who He created me to be but there are days when I feel like the dirt has more purpose than me. Crazy thinking, I know!!

I haven't really been able to make new friends here yet and I haven't really been able to connect to the few people I know in the area yet. It's really hard to go through these growing experiences without friends to bounce thoughts off. It's so vital to be in community and I see that as something I'm lacking right now. I really need to immerse myself in a community. I need the relationship with other believers here in the area. I think that is something that I need to work more on. I need to purse community instead of just expecting it to show up at my front door.

I'm beginning to work with the media team at Champions Centre and I'm hoping I can get more connected there. That church is so amazing and I know that God has me there for a reason right now. We are covering a series called Greater and I know it fits perfectly with the season I'm in right now. I will write about that soon but now I should be heading to bed because I have a long day tomorrow. Waking up early for church, filming, then off to work to hopefully sell some cameras.
Thank you little blog for being my thought process right now.

Praying for:

• Community
• To rid self-doubt
• The Greater things we are called to
• The broken, battered hearts