Doubt and Community

So I obviously suck at blogging. I haven't even updated this thing at all. Not that anyone is reading this yet either but oh well. Today has been a blah day. It was just one of those, wake up in the morning and try to make it through with a smile on your face. My heart is heavy right now. I can't even pinpoint what it is heavy with but it's just been that way all day.
This song by DCB or as I like to call them, the clam soup band has been my song of the day.

ALL I CAN SAY:

It is such a beautiful song and sometimes when you can't form the words this fits perfectly.
I love being in the Seattle area. I'm so excited for the things God is going to do. I can't wait to see how this journey unfolds. But part of me hates the growing and stretching right now. I feel alone some days. I feel like I'm not sure why I moved here and how the heck I'm going to accomplish anything that God wants from me.

I think part of my heavy heart is a seed of doubt. I doubt my abilities and I doubt if God could really use me or that He even wants to use me. Doubt is such a crazy thing and I'm now realizing it is super easy for it to take over. I doubt my worth and I don't even know why. I don't know what causes me to shrink away and feel less than others. I have those moments when I know that God is going to use me for greater things and I have confidence in who He created me to be but there are days when I feel like the dirt has more purpose than me. Crazy thinking, I know!!

I haven't really been able to make new friends here yet and I haven't really been able to connect to the few people I know in the area yet. It's really hard to go through these growing experiences without friends to bounce thoughts off. It's so vital to be in community and I see that as something I'm lacking right now. I really need to immerse myself in a community. I need the relationship with other believers here in the area. I think that is something that I need to work more on. I need to purse community instead of just expecting it to show up at my front door.

I'm beginning to work with the media team at Champions Centre and I'm hoping I can get more connected there. That church is so amazing and I know that God has me there for a reason right now. We are covering a series called Greater and I know it fits perfectly with the season I'm in right now. I will write about that soon but now I should be heading to bed because I have a long day tomorrow. Waking up early for church, filming, then off to work to hopefully sell some cameras.
Thank you little blog for being my thought process right now.

Praying for:

• Community
• To rid self-doubt
• The Greater things we are called to
• The broken, battered hearts